The past week or two- for the first time as a parent- I have felt guilt. guilt that I am not cutting it for my kids. specifically zeb.  Honestly (probably due to me lack of humility!) I haven't felt guilty as a parent in the past.  But right now- my patience is limited- this metta baby requires a lot of attention- and I've been pretty hard on rugrat number 1.  I think because he's the oldest he gets the brunt of my frustrations.  I've found myself apologizing to him at night for my poor behavior during the day and telling him how good of a kid he is. I hope these few weeks haven't scarred him for good!

Luckily Metta has one or two bad days followed by several good.   As long as she gets a good early morning nap- we can keep her happy the rest of the day!  she just tends to get overstimulated and then overtired because she doesn't sleep!  she is a lot like me in the fact that she fights sleep like crazy.  She loves this ugly little bouncy chair.  I got it at a nickel auction for a nickel.   She takes naps swaddled tight in a blanket in the bouncy tucked in the corner of a dark bathroom with the door shut.

If you haven't experienced a nickel auction- you haven't lived :)  A group of ladies here does them every month or so- and they are SOOOO much fun.  People bring stuff they don't use anymore and it's auctioned off!  in five cent increments.  Sometimes things get 'pricey' up into the dollars- but usually things stay below seventy five cents or so!  I've gotten some really good stuff. It's a yard sale lover's dream come true :)

Here is my fabulous little almost five year old.  He really is great.  I am so lucky my rugrat boys are so wonderfully independent. Honestly- they get up in the morning- get themselves breakfast- turn on cartoons :)- and let me sleep in until eight.

 This morning we did bubbles in the backyard.  I'm so glad spring is here with normal temps.  I hated those 80+ degree days.

 and I love the thunderstorms we've been having!!  there is nothing better than thunder and lightning and gloomy gray days.

Every day is getting easier- and I can't wait for next week when I hit six weeks post partum and I can  go back to the gym daily!!  I've been going on outside runs- or hitting the gym at night when kent is home- but I just want to get back to my morning routine.  The kidzone will finally take metta at six weeks!!  we are so close!